The best person to help you is ..you! Coaching gives you the tools to do this now and in the future.
Build self confidence
Confidence starts inside. You decide your thoughts, not the other way round. When coaching enables you to explore your inner language, you may surprised by how negative this can be. Many people are then able to change this language, with practice, and improve how they feel.
Set your own goals
Prepare for a job interview
Q: But you are deaf. How do you coach?
For face-to-face coaching I speak and use a lipspeaker to understand what you say. Like coaches, lipspeakers work to a strict professional code of conduct ethics and confidentiality. Deafness helps me read body language when coaching. I also coach by phone with a lipspeaker supporting, and using messaging e.g Skype. This has advantages: you can save the conversation to read again later and some people feel more comfortable 'talking' from their own home or a quiet place.
Bad day? Got that sinking feeling?
1. Start with your body:
- Step outside for 3 minutes, even if it's raining. A quick change of scene – and daylight – can bring relief.
- Give yourself a quick top-to-toe check: shoulders hunched? Breathing fast and shallow? Stomach complaining (hunger, acid?) Limbs aching? Throat dry? Stretch, breathe slowly from your diaphragm and close your eyes for a few moments. When you go back inside, drink water.
2. Now work on your mind:
- Try 'freeze framing': picture stepping outside yourself and observing what is happening. This can give the perspective you need to get out of the immediate rut.
- How important will the current problem feel in one day, one month or one year? Chances are the answer will be 'not very'; this can give perspective.
- Think of someone you know and like. What would they advise you to do?
- Think of someone who has a harder situation than you. How serious would they find your current problem(s)?
3. Ask yourself some good questions:
- What is the worst thing that can happen? What would you do if it did?
- Will the world come to an end if you don't do a particular task?
- What could be good about the situation you are in? There is usually something valuable to be learnt from even the darkest moments.
- What is at the root of the current problem and what can you do about it? One small decision or action can make a positive difference sometimes.
- Whose agenda is driving the current situation? If it's not yours, can you influence it in the right direction for you?
4. Be self-aware:
Do you use British Sign Language (BSL)?
Thanks to: Brenda Hamlin, Chair of Manchester Deaf Centre, Beverley Roberts, lipspeaker and BSL interpreter and Amanda Glasspell, videographer and captioner.